"YOU GONNA MAKE BISCUITS!!!!!!

So, I waited, and waited, every day thinking more and more that I would not be chosen for the video. Then, on Christmas day, I got my answer....I was in!!!!!!!! I freaked out! I screamed so loud that my Dad heard me outside! And so, lets fast forward to taday: the day before the shoot. I am losing my mind. I have packed my stuff, arranged where I'm staying, how I'm getting there, and talked to all my new friends on the phone. I had my hair dyed and trimmed today so its back to proper black with short bangs. I had a large latte from Starbucks this morning and as soon as the caffiene from that wore off I drank a Red Bull. And the caffiene from that has not yet worn off. I;m insane with raw energy right now. I am litteraly pounding each of these keyes on the key board. I'm actually afraid I may break one or something. I took a klonopin, so I should be getting better, But I'm not. I hope I dont get toxic levels of caffeiene in my blood. That makes me really sick and I end up in the hospital for a day or so. I think I need to try harder to calm down. My brain is weird sometimes, and I cant control it and I just have to say "stop! enough is enough!" I think I'm afraid that if/when I come down I will be sad or afraid. I dont much care for iether of those emotions. I hate being bi polar. *sigh* 

Lets see, what else have I been up to.... Oh, I designed and sewed a really cool big goth rag doll named Poppety. I'm going to try to sell dolls like him. I've had three people say they wanted one since I posted the pics on my myspace. 

OK, I'm coming down now. I put on some different music (Miranda Sex Garden), though I may have to change that at some point because of the odd emotions this album conjures.I have the tase of blood in my mouth. Must be all these Ensures I'm drinking. I'll bet theres all kinds of weird shit in them.Holy shit, I just cut myself with an exacto knife

So as you can see, I have posted new pictures of myself. I got up really early and started doing my makeup. It wasnt as dificult as I had anticipated. I kicked my brothers lazy ass out of bed and told him to take my picture or I would eat his soul. No,no, I asked him politly. He knows how much getting into this video means to me. Hes even agreed to drive me to Philly if I'm cast. So after I got dressed (and he got up) we went outside into the frigid Jersey air and took a bunch of pictures. We took alot more than are in the album, but these are the one that I think came out the best. Though I do look rather heavy in them. Its the skirt. People have told me that skirt makes me look fat before. But its just so poofy and frilly, I love it too much. So, I'll know in a few days if I am picked. Everybody, cross your fingers for me.

My myspace! http://www.myspace.com/pink_army_shrine 

So, Mister Voltaire, whom I only met for the first time last weekend, is going to be shooting a music video on January third. At first he anounced on his blog that all were welcome to come down and join in. But, sadly, that is not to be. He can only cast 100 of us screaming fans. I wish I'd known that before I went and ordered a $70 top hat. But hey, everybody needs a good top hat, right? He asked people who wanted to be in the video to put a link to their pics in a reply to his blog. I, howeve, do not have any pics of myself in Lollita garb. Oh, right, I forgot to mention that he only wants people who look like "Mad Hatters, Gothic Lolitas, Victorian dolls in frilly dresses, saucy Cabaret vixens..."  "I'm looking for cute boys and girls..."  I know I'm cute, but I havent finished sewing my Loli outfit yet, so I cant take a pic of myself in it. Blast these slow hands of mine! *shakes fists in the air* Oh, yeah, did I mention that my sewing machine is brokeded? I'm hand sewing this bitch! Its fun though. I think tommorow I'm gonna paint my face like a creepy porcelain doll (like I would paint it if I made it into the video), have Alli take pics of me, and then I'll post them right quick here on the ole myspace. I hope I still have enough white foundation in my makeup case. I'll do my hair really cute for the pic too. Those "teddy bear ear" buns like I have in the pics where I'm wearing the glasses. So, yeah...Post more tommorow I guess.

Check out my myspace! http://www.myspace.com/pink_army_shrine 

I havent quite gotten the hang of this whole posting pictures thing yet, so bear with me when they end up in weird spots like in the last post

 So, yeah, thats me with Domo. In case youre wondering I'm holding a Borders travel mug of cofee. I brought my cammera with me expexting to take hundreds of photos. But I really didnt care enough. I was just too preoccupied with all the organized chaos that sorrounded me. I was also preocupied with keeping my boobs from falling out of my dress. Teehee. I did take some pics though. They were all of the same thing. Voltaire. *swoons dramaticly* Oh my god...he was so amazingly beautiful and kind and funny and talanted. I love him. I tried not to act all fan girly around him, but it was difficult. I went to take his picture, and at that very moment, my cammera died! Voltaire to the rescue! 
  "Does your cammera take doubl;e A's?" He asked
"Yes," I answered.
He then walked over to the other side of his merch booth, dug around in his bag for a moment, walked back over and presented me with two double A batteries. I told you he was kind! I almost dropped them trying to put them in the cammera. He was much taller than I though he would be. I mean, everybody is taller than I am, but he was like, six foot. Clad from head to toe in black silk and lace, and wearing a top hat that was cocked slightly to one side. I bought a Pocket Goth doll of him and he signed it. I also took a pic of him holding the doll. It was so cute. I walked around with that doll stuck between my tits the whole rest of the con. I asked him what songs he was planning on performing and requested that he sing  God Thinks (my favorite). He said he couldnt. It wasnt that the con staff were censoring him, he just felt that it would be ok with so many younger teens and thier parents in the audience. He didnt want to scare those kids parents or make anybody upset. That is soooo fuckin cool of him!! He is such a good person. Before I left his booth to go wander aimlessly some more, I said one of those weird things that I tend to say without really thinking because I have no off switch when it comes to my public displays of emotion. 

I looked up at him and said, "Can I kiss you?" Now, I was expecting him to maybe say 'OK' lean down and let me give him a little one on the cheek, but such was not the case. He gave no verbal response, but instead leaned down and kissed ME on the lips!!!!!!!!! It wasnt anything intense mind you, just a peck, but OH MY GOD! I couldnt beleive it. I think I giggled like an idiot and walked away after that. I still have butterflies in my tummy when I think about it. 

Alli and I got to the stage alittle early so we could get good seats for his show. There was some sort of discussionh panel with some Japanese guy going on. We sat at the far end of the front row. Couldnt really see a damn thing from where we were. As soon as the panel was over and people started to get up, we ran to get better seats. Front row and slightly off to the left, not too shaby. Oh the concert was amazing. I took lots of pics, though most of them didnt come out well at all. All the songs he sang were wonderful, but all of his songs are wonderful. He was funny as hell too. He told great stories and when he messed up a couple of times he blamed it on his "alchahimers" (alcaholism and alsimers). My brother loved him too. I love it when chris likes things that I do. He took lots of video clips with his phone. He even bought a Voltaire Qee and had him autograph it. I screamed my brains out during that show, I was so happy to be there. At the end of the show he threw one of every Pocket Goth into the audience ( I guess cause he liked us so much teehee) and the girl sitting next to me got one. I was glad she did because she was a big fan of his but had no money to buy one, and she was really nice. Any way Heres the pics. Enjoy!

 Greetings From the New York Anime Festival!!!

 So its been over a week since I posted here last. Oopsie, my bad. I swore to myself that this time around I would try to post at least once a week. I think Its important to take time out of your life and reflect on how things are going. And things are going pretty well over here.

                  Michaels eyes finaly arrived the other day! Theyre by a company called Masterpiece. They hand make every pair of eyes, so the weight is really long. I waited three months on this fucking pair! Oh but it was worth it. They look....real. Its almost scary. The color is called Gaurdian, and its sort of ultra light blue green with almost brick red flecks. Gorgeous. Michaels preliminary faceup had chipped around both eyes. The upper lids to be exact. Both in the same spot, so it almost looked like I fucked up on purpose. So I promised him that I would fix the eye liner and give him lashes when his new eyes arrived. That very night I kept my promise. I heavily darkened the liner on both upper and lower lids. Now it looks like hes actually wearing eye liner. He is an emo kid, after all. The lashes were not the easiest thing in the world to do. But they werent the hardest either. I highly recomend using human hair lashes to anyone who is doing this themselves and is dealing with a doll with tiny eye openings. I used one of those little nail scissors to trim them. It was impossible to attatch them at their root, so i applied a thin layer of glue to the inside of the upper lid, placed the lashes where I wanted then( with the root inside the head)and then put a thicker layer of glue on top of lashes. I did have to trim them on the inside of his head though, or else the eyes wouldnt have fit into the sockets. I'll post a pic here as soon as I'm able to take a decent close up of him.

                   The New York Anime festival is on Saturday, and I must say, I am alittle nervous. This will be my first time doing a cosplay at a con, and I picked a doozy. Ali is going as Vash, Chris is going as a State Alchemist, and I am Going as Yuko the space time witch from xxxHolic. I bought my costume from the amazing artists at Cosplay Magic. I have to confess, I didnt even know who Yuko was when I bought the damn thing. I just thought it was so amazingly beautiful that I had to have it. It cost $280. Yeah, I know its ridiculous to spend that amount of money on a costume of a character you dont even know. But within the week I had read 2 of the xxxHolic mangas and was utterly in love with Yuko. She is so fucking cool! Anyway, back to the costume. A GIANT bag arrived at our house. Kid you not, it was a fucking bag. CM really needs to work on the way they ship items. I carry the bag upstairs (it wieghed, like, thirty pounds!) and ripped it open. Oh...my...god...It was like pulling hand dyed, sequined, kings size bed sheets out of a bag. I put on the Kimono and just sort of stood there like an idiot for a while. It trailed three feet behind me, and the sleeves were so gigantic I could smuggle Mexicans in them. I felt like a normal girl who had been told she was a princess and plucked out of her normal life and whisked away to some magical kingdom where she was dressed in royal finery. I felt awkward in it. At least  I could walk. All that excess fabric trailed behind me so it didnt get in the way of my feet. And there were big slits up the bottum of the sleeves so I could easily get my hands out. Oh, and did I mention that I just happened to have gotten my hair cut like Yukos and dyed black? So it is not only the right length, but the right style and color as well. I'm gonna rock the hell outa' this costume this Saturday at the Jacob Javits center. Aw yeah, bitch! Although, I'm sure the under side of the dress will be discusting by the time I get home. Oh, and I decided that since I'm going all hardcore with the dress, I may as well go hardcore with the rest of it. I will be wearing platform high heleed boots and fishnet stockings. Maybe I'll bring slippers to put on for the Voltaire show. Standing for long periods is only possible for fulltime masochists. 

                                             Dancing ,dancing, dancing! Oh the dancing! I am having such a blast at this class, and I have started dancing all the time now. I can remember a time when I was afraid to dance in front of other people, but now I cant stop. Its like I'm a little girl again. I used to just dance all the time when I was little. As I got older, I just kind of stopped. Rediscovering my rythmic beauty is proving to be such an amazing joy. Though, I am having back problems tonight. I know why that is though. Last night I was trying to pop my back ( it always posps when I dance, but for some reason it wouldnt), so I asked my hulking man beast of a brother to help me. Bad idea. He picked me up and fliiped me over onto his back and leaned forward. My arms felt like they were gonna pop out of the sockets! I didnt think it did anything to my back, but it feels like its getting worse as the night goes on. I probably shouldnt have worked out tonight. I'm just gonna have to suck it up and take it easy on Saturday. Sit down as often as possible, ask someone else to carry my stuff, and pop lots of codine and muscle relaxers.

I went to my first belly dancing class last night with Alli. Holy fuck, was that a work out! I was sweating so much and my knees were shaking really bad ( I have very weak knees). Our teachers name is Athena. I wonder if thats her real name? She was all velvet and wild wavy hair and big rings and lots of eye makeup...and she had a New York accent which was kinda funny. I was really pleased when she walked into the room and took off her jackest. She wasnt skinny! Goddess be praised! There were actualy only three people in the class including myself and Alli, and that was cool cause Alli and I werent the best belly dancers in the world. No, I was actully decent at it. Thats only because I've had alittle over seven years dance experience under my belt. I have alot of natural rythem, I'm told. IT was alot of work, but very fun, and I know I must have burned athousand calories at least. The only thing I had trouble getting was walking backwards while dropping my hip whree times. I cant multi task worth of shit, and learning dance moves is the ultimate in multi tasking. I'll practice it though, and maybe by next week I'll get the hang of it. My homework assignment was to practice the moves (she gave us sheets of paper with them all written out), and to buy three yards of organza. The organza is to be my veil. I always thought veils were little and you put them over your face. I guess Disney was lying to me all these years! Athena showed us a few moves with the veil, and I gotta tell you, it looked awsome. Athena is also a yoga instructer. I've been wanting to take yoga classes for years, but was always too nervouse for some reason. Knowing Athena is the instructor gives me more than enough courage to do it. Shes a really spiritual person. She talked about meditative dance moves and thanking the goddes. Oh, she taught us this one move where we have to cross one leg in front of the other (essentially clamping our thighs shut) and move it to the side rythmicly. She said if we moved our leg to wide we would be  "releasing our goddes energy" . Wow. No, shes awsome though, I really like her alot. I cant wait till next weeks class. I just hope that by then my ass and thighs stop hurting . Wah!

So I've been creating this LJ for the past hour now, and its finnaly set up. Yay! However that was an hour I could have been making tree angels, sewing a christmas sock monkey, doing my home work (yikes!), or cleaning up my discusting room. Although this may not have been the most productive hour, I at least have a blog now. So the whole world can experience my insanity! MUAHAHAHA!!!!